Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
