Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
