PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
