remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
