She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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