hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am one with the molecules
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
