If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
