I smell stomach acid.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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