Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
