in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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