If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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