He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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