just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
