Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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