Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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