Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize