I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize