Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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