I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
