Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
