Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Let's paint friendship bongs
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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