Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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