forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize