I'm going to jail i love you
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
