You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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