He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
