dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
how does that bad decision feel?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
