it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
