That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
