my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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