Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
