I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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