Jerry, you need to find god
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
