im gay
i know
yea but for you.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
