you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize