I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize