Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
