Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
