Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
