I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
