Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
