Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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