You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
