Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
