; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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