"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
