Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
