We're like a lot better than the average bears
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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