He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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