Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
