Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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