theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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