you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
