3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
