Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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