Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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