My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
